tongue twister (^^)

These funny tongue twisters are difficult to say and may be a little dirty if you say them wrong.


I slit the sheet - the sheet I slit - and on the slitted sheet I sit.


Try to keep repeating the phrase "Red lorry, yellow lorry"


She sells sea shells on the sea shore !


Six slippery snails, slid slowly seaward.


I'm not a pheasant plucker,
I'm a pheasant pluckers son.
And I'm only plucking pleasants
'till the pheasant plucker comes.


Silly Simon's sitting in a shoe shine shop.
Where he sits he shines, and where he shines he sits.

My Page Pet

tasteless joke 1

The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts.

I intended to stock up. At the store, however, I was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so I complained to the butcher lady."Don't worry," she said, "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."

Several aisles later, I heard the lady butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the gentleman who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store."

tasteless joke

Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

men's translation

These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...

"IT'S A GUY THING"
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
"I have no idea how it works."

"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
"Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car
I've ever owned.. but I forgot your birthday."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
"I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
"And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
"What did you catch me at?"

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
"No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translated:* "I make the messes; she cleans them up."

always by my side

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.

When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"

"What dear?" She asked gently.

"I think you bring me bad luck."